a beautiful soul, and her loss

 

We just lost Becca Calhoun to natural causes at her condo in Chapel Hill.

The family plans a memorial service, probably in early November, '21.

Becky, Rebecca, Becca 

Tragedy:

that inexplicable sundering of event

from what our heart feels is right,

we just lost Becca Calhoun,

as she went through the gate that opens only one way,

when I heard the news

I kept seeing the young child Becky,

as fully alive and engaging

as every attempt by God at perfection,

the promise in that long-haired, smiling girl

haunts me with the promise broken,

no matter how hard she worked to fulfill it,

I particularly remember her answering the calling

to work with kids challenged by language,

I keep seeing the adolescent,

 the high schooler, the college student, 

light with possibilities before her,

heavy with expectations hard to meet,

I remember her joy when she could help another,

when the gifts within her found a way to be shared, to be given,

I keep remembering the choices that turned wrong:

in relationship, in the siren call of what felt right at the time,

all of this tough and challenging,

it all got to be too much,

a tick must have introduced a predatory virus to her system,

for years she fought the predator within,

during that fight she was gifted with a mother

who was always there for her,

there for her in a laissez-faire world

where health care is more possibility than a right,

particularly when what is true is not obvious,

Becca’s mother has been such a devoted champion of her 

as to be almost mythic,

I feel tragedy keenly when thinking of her,

as a father, I avoid thinking of her father,

who loved her unconditionally and did everything he could for her,

who worked as hard as he could to be there for her,

and is now also denied more time with his glorious daughter,

finally, the world quit overwhelming her,

and the extraordinary self within her reopened to who she was,

a beautiful expression of what the world and she needed:

a loving daughter, a good sister, a good person, a lover of her dogs,

just then, when the way forward was finally re-opened,

tragedy struck, and we are left in a world without Becca:

our hearts reeling from hope denied, from possibility lost,

from any more time with the beautiful soul God gifted us with, 

Becca.

by Henry H. Walker
July 9, ‘21