an easy rightness, gone

 a wrench into sorrow

I just found tears welling out of me

as I came around the corner

and felt, again, the wrench into sorrow,

the calluses on my heart drop off,

the blinders on my eyes disappear, for a bit,

and I see the chasm beneath us all,

I see the moment when the easy rightness of the present

falls off, as if it were always illusion,

this morning the baby birds in the wren nest by the back door

were fine and just waiting for mom to give them breakfast,

30 minutes later, I came back,

the nest no longer on the cabinet,

now on the brick floor of the porch,

a squirrel must have found them,

eaten them with gusto,

made his future by denying them theirs,

sorrow is often the default position of the universe,

coming around a corner and finding sorrow

should not be a shock, 

but it is.

by Henry H. Walker

June 1, ‘26

now I finally understand "denouement"

 

a creature of story

we are very much creatures of story:

protagonist, antagonist, conflict,

we are drawn to tragedy, to comedy,

to immersing ourselves in others' stories,

while also wanting to tell the story of our lives,

of having it all make sense,

with us as protagonist,

shaping, and reshaping, the world

to fit our dreams for ourself,

now I am at a point

when I'm more a bit player, an extra,

living in that nebulous world of "happily ever after,"

retirement should be of being at the top of the mountain,

appreciating the view,

appreciating the memories of the journey up,

and holding each moment of the glories sunset reveals,

while accepting the reality of the day ending,

part of me wants to be back in the action,

I throw myself into books, into streaming shows,

vicariously, I am still in living stories

that keep me alive to fear, to worry,

to the exultation when rightness is regained,

I want to still matter,

to still be worth my salt,

the story maybe is mostly finished with me,

I hope to be worth a mention

as I live the denouement.

by Henry H. Walker

June 1, ‘26