Saturday, July 2, 2016

3 brothers, and the kid within

the kid in us

in all the fog and avoidance
that swirled around the middle brother
as cancer pulled him faster and faster
away from us and from the moments he held dear,
I had a vision, a clear image of him as a boy,
a boy scared, perplexed, vulnerable,
I then lost my shields against the hard truth coming at him
and that little boy opened the door into my sorrow,

yesterday I visited the oldest brother
and I felt the kid within him
waking up into this world
and desperately working to make sense of it all,
his body frail, his mind laboring to figure it all out,
I imagined the first born son
to the parents who doted on him,
a boy who never quite figured out how to grow up
and subject to the pain of harsh judging peers,

in my therapy sessions the youngest brother
feels the kid within him, too,
afraid, tested, judged by his parents,
doubting himself as to whether father 
judges him as good and right,

the teenager, too, is in me,
the husband, the parent, the grandparent,
the teacher who has shepherded so many
who have worked to let the kid within grow up strong,

now, though, I feel myself as the child,
first coming into conscious action,
and I find it easy to imagine father as judge,
and I fear for his verdict.

by Henry H. Walker
June 30, ‘16

1 comment:

Olivia York said...

Wow. I can definitely feel strong emotions in this poem as I read it. There is also vivid imagery. Love it.