darknesses blocking light

dice with my emotions

God may not play dice with the universe,

but God sure seems to play dice with my emotions,

each moment, each day,

my default wants to be optimism, joy, rightness,

but, when I check inside,

sometimes a vague anxiousness grabs at me,

clouds come in, I see the silver lining,

and then I find it’s tarnished,

I drop off into a fitful sleep

and awake 20 minutes later in nightmare,

I lie in bed and summon my fears to show themselves,

and, when they do, I am much better

for knowing the darknesses that block my light,

I am always afraid

of the price to be paid

for anything that seems too good for me,

too good to be true. 

by Henry H. Walker
April 8, ’15