Tuesday, January 10, 2017

I fear to not be here



let us fight dissolution

death has long been a possibility 
made particularly real to me
by Daddy dying when I turned 14,

in therapy I poke at my psyche
to see what fear drives me,

I keep finding a fear
that I won’t be there for another:
for my kids, for my wife,
for my grandkids, for my students,

I just now wrote a thank-you note
to trail crews in the Smokies
who labor hard, near invisibly,
to help the trails be hiker-friendly,

a few minutes ago, 
tears forced their way
from my shuddering belly
to my wincing face
and out my eyes,

I feared when I won’t be here
to support everyone who builds,
who fights dissolution, 
who is on the same team
for whom I play,
the team that will not allow an obstacle
to stop us from moving forward, surely.

by Henry H. Walker

January 9, ‘17

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