wake up; truly see

light through the crack

Leonard Cohen sang of a “crack in everything”

and “that’s how the light gets in,”

as these words wash over me,

I feel the truth of protective layers of darkness

that avoidance, that denial, that comforting routine

can build up around us,

they can make it so that we don’t feel the awe

we cannot hold without trembling:

a death, a loss, a failing can crack those barriers,

and the light gets in,

that which many of us feel as God,

at least for sure the spirit inherent in Creation,

parts of us scurry away to hide like bugs,

part of us wakes up,

sees where we are and where we might go,

imperfections can open us to illumination, to change,

we can wake up enough

to also feel where others are 

and where they might go,

every day I feel the wrenching loss of my father,

the wrenching absence of my father,

that pain pricks me awake,

and I am far more often there for others

since I cannot so easily lose my self

behind the shields 

the numbing present can build around us

with routine, denial, and avoidance.

by Henry H. Walker

January 20, ‘17