up the roller-coaster

the four year-old within

I used to think of the maturing of a person as a staircase,
where one might pause on a landing,
but it was always up till somewhere after middle age,

now it seems more a roller-coaster
with a lot of “up”
quickly followed by a lot of “down,”

though, like climbing a mountain,
the trail overall usually leads up,
and it takes a lot of effort,

to be four years-old is wonderful and painfully hard,
one is aware, sharply, whenever a turn becomes down

and sorrow pours forth
for the moment is all
and this moment is loss,
the way up is so joyous
that in these moments all of us around the joy
can be undone by the generative power released,



to be seven is to have more inertia about one’s trip up:
winds still buffet while the footing feels more and more solid,
the feet hold and head and heart build connections,
and can climb more and more surely,


I wonder how much the seven year-old
holds her four year-old inside,
a part of her buffeted all the time,
while another part of her
feels the weight of experience and confidence,
so that perspective can somewhat balance
by adding larger understanding
so that keeping true to the path is easier,

the seven year-old can absorb herself into a book for an hour,
live in the moment and stretch that moment long.
the four year-old within

I used to think of the maturing of a person as a staircase,
where one might pause on a landing,
but it was always up till somewhere after middle age,

now it seems more a roller-coaster
with a lot of “up”
quickly followed by a lot of “down,”

though, like climbing a mountain,
the trail overall usually leads up,
and it takes a lot of effort,

to be four years-old is wonderful and painfully hard,
one is aware, sharply, whenever a turn becomes down

and sorrow pours forth
for the moment is all
and this moment is loss,
the way up is so joyous
that in these moments all of us around the joy
can be undone by the generative power released,

to be seven is to have more inertia about one’s trip up:
winds still buffet while the footing feels more and more solid,
the feet hold and head and heart build connections,
and can climb more and more surely,

I wonder how much the seven year-old
holds her four year-old inside,
a part of her buffeted all the time,
while another part of her
feels the weight of experience and confidence,
so that perspective can somewhat balance
by adding larger understanding
so that keeping true to the path is easier,

the seven year-old can absorb herself into a book for an hour,
live in the moment and stretch that moment long.


by Henry Walker
August 4, ’12


by Henry Walker
August 4, ’12