driven
I think the secret is to decide who we are
without a puppet-master pulling our strings,
perhaps the louder culture outside us
who doesn't really know us,
I fear the metaphor where all of us are individuals at a buffet
where we choose whatever feels good to us at the moment,
I also worry about the metaphor that we are puppets,
that we should exist to be following the dictates of another,
that God's plan is for us to just do what the greater requires,
perhaps the metaphor should be that there is a mountain,
and our charge is to hike a path up
that makes the most sense to our full self,
that being "driven" is not as close to truth
as finding one's own way,
that our self-worth comes from how true to our gifts we are,
and that who we are can be not just "driven,"
but driving a unique path forward,
I don't know what my unique path forward is going to be in retirement,
I fear substituting different hoops to jump through
and somehow not quite walking up my own path up this mountain.
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