Ryan Martin Draper
no words can really capture another,
but it's still worth the effort
to attempt to cross the chasm,
for the one we seek to sketch
deserves to be known, and appreciated,
love can cross that chasm
and can hazard to report what it finds,
this afternoon Ryan's mother graces me with stories,
with recounting of experience, observation, wonder
at the bright spirit of her first-born,
at the pure flame he lived with his life,
her newborn child was "cute as a button,"
hilarious, a solver of puzzles from his earliest years,
puzzles that would daunt her,
her child a sweetheart who was interested in everything,
who craved learning,
who always pushed limits to see what he could discover,
Ryan's greatest challenge was muscular dystrophy,
a reality no one wanted to uncover,
but a truth that came at him, at them, from his earliest years,
at preschool the stairs daunted him,
so they consulted a neurologist
and dealt with the reality of Duchenn's muscular dystrophy
for over 35 years,
increasingly Ryan couldn't "do" with his body,
so his mind took off into observation, into question,
into accepting within of all he could that was without
and then working hard to make sense of it all,
the toddler puzzle-solver morphing into the adolescent, the adult
who viewed all the world as a puzzle
that needed studying, questioning, figuring out,
nature called to him,
first to understand,
then to advocacy for the natural world,
the dirt on the lower school playground calling him to excavate,
whatever was out there needed to be seen, understood,
his invaluable teachers bonding with him,
from Tom in the lower school,
to Cotton in upper school helping him discover advocacy,
so off he went to Elon, then to Carolina,
for environmental science, environmental studies,
history a love, and Bryce assisted that quest,
so many questions that needed answers,
and his thirst for understanding would not be denied,
as his body shut down, his mind sped up,
when he would feel down, he would say
"I feel trapped in this body,"
a lifetime of losing physical abilities,
yet wonderful doctors who did their best,
and helped a lot, though they couldn't cure,
just as his parents worked so hard to help him get to 39
when his first prognosis considered 14 as the projected end,
a quarter century of questions and intensity to learn
that could have been denied to him,
without such impressive support of family, doctors, his own will,
when he couldn't "do" he could observe and he did,
he knew the end was coming,
and he wanted to know what it's all about,
Buddhism then called to him,
particularly the Tibetan,
karma an answer to the bad and the good of his life,
Ryan wanted to be a monk
and consciously chose a "green burial" for his body,
he assured his parents he would pass quickly
and then still be a presence with them,
what a gift he was!
his inquisitive spirit kept him going,
kept his parents going,
a life well-lived, not easy,
but a life of substance and meaning,
he loved life, particularly insects,
a volunteer at the Museum of Life and Science, at the Insectorium,
who else would have an entomologist speak at his Celebration of Life,
displaying the same tarantula Ryan loved to share with audiences?
Ryan was constantly on his computer,
using the high tech joystick
that enabled him power
when his condition worked to deny him that power,
finally, Ryan's spirit had to agree with his body that it was time,
all of us have lost with Ryan's leaving us,
and we should work to still feel his presence,
as he shares his light with the darkness
so easy to feel in our lives.
by Henry H. Walker
November 6, ‘23
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