a wrenching loss

Jonathan

a chasm opens deep and wide,

and the wonderful person I treasured

is now on the other side,

I cannot quite believe that 

this vibrant funny man is not here any more

to share the air,

to share a joke,

to share a story, a moment,

that our path together came to a fork

and now we’re on opposite sides of the chasm,

my brain and my heart work to deal with it,

but the despair of the new reality 

repulses my attention,

and my thoughts skitter off and away

into any distracting harbor they can find,

for the storm of loss can buffet me beyond bearing,

when I hold to moments with the new truth,

tears shake me and I feel the despair just below,

we remember Jonathan as a beautiful newborn

at the hospital in Greensboro,

as an energetic rambunctious child who leaped into things,

as a tender sweet child through teenager

playing improvised games of football in the backyard at Glasgow

and being my partner in being outrageous in knock rummy card games,

he grew up well and found a partner who meant the world to him,

depth upon depth to the self he’d let us see,

and far more depth upon depth to the self he wouldn’t let us see,

time with Jonathan made me smile with delight,

as who he was was of the light,

and the world will be darker without that brightness,



may we learn from him 

to flare our own brightness

as fully as we can.

with love,

from Henry H. Walker

December 8, ’13