Monday, December 9, 2013

a wrenching loss



Jonathan

a chasm opens deep and wide,
and the wonderful person I treasured
is now on the other side,
I cannot quite believe that 
this vibrant funny man is not here any more
to share the air,
to share a joke,
to share a story, a moment,
that our path together came to a fork
and now we’re on opposite sides of the chasm,

my brain and my heart work to deal with it,
but the despair of the new reality 
repulses my attention,
and my thoughts skitter off and away
into any distracting harbor they can find,
for the storm of loss can buffet me beyond bearing,
when I hold to moments with the new truth,
tears shake me and I feel the despair just below,

we remember Jonathan as a beautiful newborn
at the hospital in Greensboro,
as an energetic rambunctious child who leaped into things,
as a tender sweet child through teenager
playing improvised games of football in the backyard at Glasgow
and being my partner in being outrageous in knock rummy card games,

he grew up well and found a partner who meant the world to him,


depth upon depth to the self he’d let us see,
and far more depth upon depth to the self he wouldn’t let us see,

time with Jonathan made me smile with delight,
as who he was was of the light,
and the world will be darker without that brightness,



may we learn from him 
to flare our own brightness
as fully as we can.

with love,
from Henry H. Walker
December 8, ’13

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Deeply saddened and moved by your words. Holding you and Joan in the light.
-Bradley & Felicity

Unknown said...

So beautiful, Henry. It is clear you had a very special bond with your nephew. Thank you for sharing and know we are thinking of you and your family.
Lillemor Ted Alex Theo

Charlie said...

What a heartfelt poem and beautiful tribute to your nephew, Henry. May you and your family find comfort in the love you give to each other. I'm imagining an ocean of love being sent your way.
With care and tenderness,
Charlie

Renee said...

Thank you for sharing this, Henry. I know how incredibly wide the chasm can feel. I am sending you and Joan love and light.

Renee

Natasha said...

Thank you for including the photos with your wonderful words.

Unknown said...

Thank you Henry