Monday, October 31, 2011

with my life


more than zero sum


in the midst of my adolescent angst
my father dies, suddenly, abruptly,
no space to remember to savor the present
before the future, the absence,
crashes into my world,

I learn then that I should savor every moment
that I have the “now,” the other with me,
every beat of the heart
that is at the center of what is right,
of who I can be when I am with who is true
to the best of who we can be,

even a bone within can betray a person
and reorder where you’ll be inside, outside,
how you see yourself, be yourself,
how house and plans must then need to be reconfigured,

I know that doors close, paths forward can disappear,
even when one is young
and the future should be wide-open and bright,

I do not know how much of time and paths is left before me,

I do know that there’s a grand effort within what is
to build block upon block
to reach toward structure and meaning,

and that much within is also contrary
and works to knock the blocks awry,

with my life I seek addition rather than subtraction,
and hope that my life will have a sum somewhere above zero.

by Henry H. Walker
October 22, ’11

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