in the air, and . . .

decision maker within


there is within us
a decision-maker,
one who chooses every moment
how to react,
which thoughts to choose to pursue,
which options upon which to act,

experience herds us
as we call up what hurt
and what felt good,
too often just in the immediate,

there’s always a high road, a low road,
and road after road in between,

and we fancy ourselves good at the decision-making:
we fancy we judge and choose rationally,
with common sense as to what is possible
as to what feels right,
and we can easily avoid the path that is hard,
that hints of future gain
while it delivers present frustration and effort,
a leap of faith from no foundation but hope,
hope that the advice from self or other can be trusted
as worth the risk,

time after time
students, family, colleagues, I myself
enable the decision-maker within
to choose a path I’d call lesser,

free will is a wonderful, damnable thing
for it enables both the best of us and the worst of us
to manifest in what we decide,

before us the lemming’s cliff
and the metamorphosis until we fly,
and we only know which way is which
after we’re already in the air.

by Henry H. Walker
March 20, ‘09